The 2023–24 yearbook. Regular season through week 13, then the two-week playoffs, then who had to wear it. Numbers are from Sleeper; the color is from the weekly notes. Jake’s awards page opened with Oregon missing the playoffs. The belt still changed hands — Seif was out, PJ was not.
Finals · Regular season · Who won the draft · Won the week · November · Wire & trades · Playoffs · Slutler · Team portraits
The hardware
| Finish | Manager | Team | How they got there |
|---|---|---|---|
| 🏆 Champion | PJ Hardcastle | 8=========D | 8–5, #4 seed, 1,538 PF. Joel’s preview called it luck. Then 283–197 over the 1-seed and 318–236 in the final, including a 188–86 week 16. |
| 2nd | Pangy | Sweet Brotha Numpsay | 8–5, #3. Opened 3–5, closed 5–0, beat Tony in week 13 and again in the semis. The bounce-back year ended under 188. |
| 3rd | Tony | JA MONTG | 8–5, #2. Won the draft. Six-game streak. Lost the rematch to Pangy, took 3rd over CJ. |
| 4th | Chris Johnson | Not Diggin that mustard | 9–4, 1,764 PF, the regular-season title. Week 15 of the semis: 79 points. The 1-seed that vanished. |
| 5th | Matt Seifert | Tua infinity and Bijan | 7–6, 1,658 PF, lowest PA in the league. A 209 in week 5. First draft he ran himself. Missed anyway. |
| Slutler | Kris Turner | Love Heem | 5–8, last in PF, first in PA. The old 5–10 pool with seed bonuses: 420 + 10 = 430, seven points behind Andy. |
Regular season (weeks 1–13)
CJ took first place and most points. Three teams finished 8–5 behind him, and the 4-seed (PJ) had the fewest points of anyone in the playoff field. Seif had playoff scoring, the lowest points against, and a 7–6 record. The awards page paid CJ for first place, most PF, and Tony for the longest streak.
| Manager | W–L | PF | PA | Avg | Seed | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | CJ | 9–4 | 1764.14 | 1574.98 | 135.7 | #1 |
| 2 | Tony | 8–5 | 1755.48 | 1605.76 | 135.0 | #2 |
| 3 | Pangy | 8–5 | 1568.54 | 1516.96 | 120.7 | #3 |
| 4 | PJ | 8–5 | 1537.88 | 1628.08 | 118.3 | #4 |
| 5 | Seif | 7–6 | 1657.96 | 1474.48 | 127.5 | — |
| 6 | Andy | 6–7 | 1490.78 | 1540.90 | 114.7 | — |
| 7 | Joel | 5–8 | 1567.44 | 1533.98 | 120.6 | — |
| 8 | Jake | 5–8 | 1561.74 | 1636.28 | 120.1 | — |
| 9 | Kris | 5–8 | 1425.20 | 1664.84 | 109.6 | — |
| 10 | Neil | 4–9 | 1498.86 | 1651.76 | 115.3 | — |
Kris was last in points and first in points against and still finished 9th on the win column. Neil was 10th and still scored more than Andy. Joel had 5th in PF and a 5–8 record — the other way to miss.
Week 13 results that locked the bracket:
- Pangy 152.52 over Tony 148.32 — the 3-seed, and the rematch booked for the semis
- CJ 147.36 over Seif 131.32 — 1-seed locked; Seif stays 5th
- Kris 147.18 over PJ 103.76 — the champ’s last regular-season game was a 44-point loss to 9th
- Jake 131.40 over Andy 98.28 — neither in
- Neil 132.54 over Joel 128.42 — last place takes one off 7th
Who won the draft
Starter points in weeks 1–13, credited to whoever drafted the player (trades do not move the credit).
| Manager | Slot | Draft-class pts | The hits | The miss | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Tony | 1.01 | 1640 | CMC (295), Josh Allen at 3.01 (287), Pittman, Jacobs | The board that won the year. JuJu and Charbonnet were the leftovers |
| 2 | Andy | 1.05 | 1352 | Herbert, Amon-Ra, DeVonta, Evans | Ekeler at 1.05, 129 points. Pitts 23 |
| 3 | Neil | 1.06 | 1320 | CeeDee (265), Lamar, Dak | Saquon at 1.06, 112. Last place with a WR1 |
| 4 | Pangy | 1.07 | 1298 | A.J. Brown (239), Adams, Kittle | Anthony Richardson 52. The November roster was the waiver one |
| 5 | Joel | 1.03 | 1288 | Hurts (283), Kelce before he traded him | Miles Sanders 23. The week-1 Kelce-for-Jacobs deal is the rest of the story |
| 6 | Jake | 1.04 | 1283 | Tyreek (313 — the league’s best drafted skill player) | Then he traded the rest of the room. Fields was the awards letdown |
| 7 | Seif | 1.08 | 1241 | Chase, DJ Moore, Tua, ETN, Henry | Kupp at 1.08, 90 points. Watson −2. First self-draft, still a board |
| 8 | CJ | 1.09 | 1230 | Keenan (266), Diggs, Hockenson | Daniel Jones 4. Jamaal Williams 3. The 1-seed was the wire plus Keenan |
| 9 | PJ | 1.02 | 1150 | Aiyuk, Waddle, Walker, Andrews, Breece | Jefferson at 1.02, 109 points. Fields 45. The champion drafted ninth |
| 10 | Kris | 1.10 | 1100 | Mahomes (before the trade), DK, Ridley | Chubb at 1.10: 23 starter points. The pick that became the Slutler caption |
Won the draft: Tony. CMC at 1.01 paid. Allen at 3.01 was the league MVP. The awards page said he smashed it. He did.
Lost the draft: Kris at 1.10 on Chubb’s knee. PJ drafted like a mid-table team and won the title anyway. Seif’s first self-draft still had Chase and still missed.
Won the week
| Week | The game | Who won it |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jake 170.44 over CJ 112.0 | Tyreek 44.5. Exotic Engrams opened on top. It did not last. |
| 4 | Joel 179.76 over Neil 98.7 — 81-point smash | Hurts Donut’s loudest Sunday. CMC had 48.7 for Tony the same week. |
| 5 | Seif 209.22 over Jake 108.5 — highest team score of the year | Chase 52.2. The regular-season high-week prize. A 101-point margin. |
| 8 | Tony 171.76 | The streak team. CeeDee had 41 for Neil in a loss. |
| 10 | CJ 164.86 over Jake 94.7 | Keenan 40.5. The 1-seed looking like a 1-seed. |
| 12 | CJ 169.84; Pangy 163.2 over Andy 108 | Josh Allen 39.7 for Tony. Pangy’s November was not slowing down. |
| 13 | Pangy 152.52 over Tony 148.32 | The playoff rematch, booked in advance. |
| 15 | PJ 164.58 over CJ 79.36 | The 1-seed’s funeral. 85 points in one week of a two-week series. |
| 16 | PJ 188.00 over Pangy 85.84 | Championship week 1, 102-point margin. The series was over. |
Who lost the season in November
Split at week 9. Pangy did the opposite of losing it.
| Manager | Weeks 1–8 | Weeks 9–13 | The story |
|---|---|---|---|
| Pangy | 3–5, 912 PF | 5–0, 657 PF | Won November. Beat Tony in week 13, then beat him again in January. The 3-seed was a second-half team. |
| Seif | 6–2, 1096 PF | 1–4, 562 PF | Best first eight weeks in the league, then the 209 and the Chase weeks stopped converting. Lowest PA, 5th place. |
| Jake | 4–4, 1002 PF | 1–4, 560 PF | Opened 170. Closed Trade-O-Rama. Fields, Ekeler, and five deals later, 8th. |
| PJ | 6–2, 953 PF | 2–3, 585 PF | Looked mid-table after Thanksgiving. Still the 4-seed. The points came in weeks 14–17. |
| Tony / CJ | 4–4 / 5–3 | 4–1 / 4–1 | Did not lose November. They just met the wrong January roster. |
The wire, the wallet, the trades
Twelve trades. Jake’s awards write-up called his own team Trade-O-Rama and printed an intervention number. Andy was first to run out of FAAB, week 8.
The trades that actually mattered:
- Week 1, Tony ↔ Joel: Tony got Kelce and Miles Sanders. Joel got Jacobs and Goedert. The awards page said Joel won it on the numbers. Tony still had Allen and CMC.
- Weeks 2–4, Jake’s run: Jeudy from Kris for Cooks and a pile of FAAB. Then Mahomes for Mostert and Love. Then Kamara to CJ for Lockett. Then Achane to Andy for Ekeler. The original roster was gone by Halloween.
- Week 6, Pangy ↔ Andy: Pangy got Deebo, Achane, Stroud, and the 49ers. Andy got Swift. The November 5–0 had a receipt.
- Week 9, Andy ↔ PJ: PJ got Amon-Ra. Andy got Andrews, Pierce, and Flowers. The notes said the Mandrews side did not work. PJ’s side went to the final.
- Week 10, CJ ↔ Seif: CJ got Henry. Seif got Bijan. The 1-seed added a closer; the 5-seed added a name.
- Week 11, Neil ↔ PJ: Neil got Aiyuk. PJ got Rachaad White. Last trade of the year, last-place dart.
Jake also flipped Lockett and McBride back to Kris in week 10 for Thielen and Waller. CJ’s Kamara add (week 4) was the awards honorable mention for when it mattered.
Playoffs (two-week rounds)
Semis in weeks 14–15, championship and 3rd place in 16–17. Seeds: CJ, Tony, Pangy, PJ. Neil and Joel’s preview picked PJ by a field goal and Pangy over Tony. They got the names right and the margins laughably wrong.
Semifinals (weeks 14–15)
| Matchup | W14 | W15 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|
| PJ over CJ | 119.12–117.44 | 164.58–79.36 | 283.70–196.80 |
| Pangy over Tony | 142.08–119.92 | 130.36–119.56 | 272.44–239.48 |
CJ lost week 14 by 1.68 and week 15 by 85. The 1-seed, 1,764-point team put up 79. Pangy beat Tony in week 13 and then won both playoff weeks against the same roster. The rematch was not close enough to save the draft winner.
Championship & 3rd (weeks 16–17)
| Matchup | W16 | W17 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|
| PJ over Pangy | 188.00–85.84 | 129.70–150.64 | 317.70–236.48 |
| Tony over CJ | 147.98–97.50 | 98.56–100.20 | 246.54–197.70 |
Week 16 was a 102-point championship game. Pangy won week 17 and still lost by 81. PJ’s 601 consolation-plus-playoff points from week 14 on were the most in the league. The second title. The three-peat started here.
Slutler
Kris. The old 5–10 pool, weeks 14–17, with the posted seed bonuses (5th +50 down to 10th +0). The 2024 notes treat this as settled.
| Finish | Manager | W14–17 PF | Bonus | Pool total |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5th | Seif | 507.34 | +50 | 557.34 |
| 10th | Neil | 526.00 | — | 526.00 |
| 7th | Joel | 481.12 | +30 | 511.12 |
| 8th | Jake | 470.06 | +20 | 490.06 |
| 6th | Andy | 397.06 | +40 | 437.06 |
| 9th | Kris | 419.98 | +10 | 429.98 |
Seven points. Andy ran out of FAAB in week 8 and still almost made Kris wear someone else’s cake. Chubb at 1.10 scored 23 starter points. The 2024–25 Slutler was Kris again.
Team portraits
PJ Hardcastle — 8=========D — Champion
8–5, 1,538 PF, the fewest points of any playoff team, then 318 in the final. Drafted Jefferson and Fields and watched both die. Collected Amon-Ra in week 9. Lost to Kris by 44 in week 13. The awards preview said luck. The box score said 188.
Pangy — Sweet Brotha Numpsay — 2nd
3–5, then 5–0. The Achane / Deebo / Stroud haul in week 6 was the second-half roster. Beat Tony twice when it mattered. Week 16 was 86 points in a championship. The bounce-back year that bounced once more.
Tony — JA MONTG — 3rd
Won the draft. CMC, Allen, a six-game streak, 1,755 PF, the 2-seed. Lost week 13 to Pangy and both semis weeks to Pangy. Took 3rd over the 1-seed because someone had to. Most valuable manager on the awards page. Not the champion.
Chris Johnson — Not Diggin that mustard — 4th
9–4, 1,764, Keenan, Diggs, Henry via trade, Dak down the stretch. Regular-season first place. Week 15: 79 points. The cruelest 1-seed in the archive.
Matt Seifert — Tua infinity and Bijan — 5th
First self-draft. Chase 52 in a 209-point week. Lowest PA in the league. 7–6. Three first-round names on the roster at some point and still dancing in the 5th-place pool. The notes were happy he drafted it himself. Happier he missed.
Andy — Mr. TURNA 2-2-uh-4 — 6th
6–7, 9th in PF, first out of FAAB. The Achane add from Jake, the Andrews add from PJ. Amon-Ra left. +40 almost saved him from the cake. Seven points.
Joel Hernandez — Hurts Donut — 7th
5–8 with 1,567 PF. The Kelce trade for Jacobs, a 180 in week 4, Puka in the room. The notes gave him a 90-point Slutler buffer. He used it.
Jake Bowen — Exotic Engrams — 8th
Opened 170. Traded five times. Fields was the letdown. Tyreek was the only thing the draft got right. The awards page said call 1-800-877-8902.
Kris Turner — Love Heem — Slutler
Last in PF, first in PA, 9th on wins, last in the pool. Chubb 23. The Mostert / Love haul from Jake was the good trade. Seven points from Andy was the math. He wore it again the next year, then won the whole thing the year after that.
Neil Calvert — Unpaid Bills — 10th
4–9. CeeDee 265, Lamar, a late Aiyuk dart, and a side bet with Seif on points from week 7 on. Last in the standings, 2nd in the Slutler pool. The notes said don’t sleep on the last seed. The last seed scored 526 after the season ended.
Sources: Sleeper league 981621083042369536 (matchups, draft, trades, brackets) plus the 2023 weekly power rankings and postseason preview. Regular season is weeks 1–13. Playoffs are two-week rounds, 14–15 and 16–17. Slutler used the old 5–10 pool with seed bonuses.