Fantasy Fucks Week 4 Power Rankings We’re about a quarter of the way through the season, and so far the league might be as tight as it’s ever been. I’ll have to confirm with my statistical research team, but with nobody left undefeated after 3 weeks, that is almost certainly the earliest that’s happened in the history of this league. Six teams with 2 wins, three with 1, and only one lone idiot that’s currently winless. Hopefully that will change come tomorrow.
Matchup of the Week: Toss up between two solid matchups of 2-1 teams. PJ (Cook-n Lamb for my Nabers) takes on Andy (Mr. Turner 2-to-uh-4), while Joel (Butker up Buttercup) faces off against Kris (Spitters not Quiters). The winners here will vault themselves to the top of the standings, while sending their early season rivals down to the middle of the pack.
Waiver Wire Wizard: A pretty tame week overall for waiver adds - but we’ll give this one to PJ for his pickup of Michael Pittman for $23. Two other bids came through for the Colts stud WR…both at $1. Hey if you want your guy, make sure you get ‘em, and PJ made sure of it.
We also had our first trade of the season, with Andy and Jake doing a carousel swap involving 3 mostly underperforming RBs (although shoutout to Montgomery for popping off last week on MNF). Jake look’s to be selling high and buying low here - we’ll see how everything shakes out in the coming weeks before declaring a winner of this trade. Without further ado:
1. Kris (2-1, PF: 383)
Our reigning Slutler finds himself first in the standings and rankings, what a time to be alive! Anchored by a strong WR corps including Seattle’s current #1 and former #1, this team has a lot of juice, and Kittle coming back from the IR soon will be a real treat. Caleb Williams can’t play the Cowboys every week though, so QB will remain a question mark going forward.
2. Pangy (2-1, PF: 376)
Pangy has the best player in the NFL, and the best player in fantasy currently leading his squad - that’s right, Kyle Pitts. Outside of him, Pangy also has a fantastic stable of 4-5 guys that could combine for 100+ points each week just by themselves.
3. PJ (2-1, PF: 375)
Losing Compact Disc Sheep hurts, but PJ has some solid overall depth to hopefully see him through Lamb’s injury. As a Bills fan, I’m loving the continued domination from James Cook. As someone that wouldn’t mind seeing PJ’s fantasy team knocked down a peg or two, not so much (love ya PJ, but the peasants are always gonna hold some resentment toward the king).
4. Joel (2-1, PF: 363)
I quite like Joel’s team overall, the Sun God is godly, and as long as Tua stays upright (big if) then Achane should continue to feast. If the Jags and Brian Thomas Jr. can get their shit together (also a big if), that’ll provide a nice boost for Joel’s depth.
5. Seif (1-2, PF: 369)
Despite being 1-2, Seif slides into the top 5, boasting another solid team that’s putting up a lot of points (Tom probably deserves some praise for this somehow). Lamar will be a top 3 QB minimum, CMC is the ultimate glass cannon, and Bowers is a fucking beast. A bit unlucky to have 2 losses already, let’s hope he stays unlucky and finds his 3rd this week.
6. Andy (2-1, PF: 321)
Andy dumps some of his RB deadweight trying to shake things up, we’ll see if that ends up being the right move. Rookie Skattebo is making some noise for the Giants, we’ll see if his good start continues. And what can you say about Puka Nacua - the current #1 overall WR looks poised to eat all year long.
7. Jake (2-1, PF: 326)
Snake has some heavy hitters with King Henry and Jalen Hurts - rushing TDs for days. Egbuka has had a phenomenal start to his NFL career, and although Godwin is coming back, Mr. 1000 Mike Evans is now on IR - so the rookie WR has a good opportunity to continue to ball out.
8. CJ (1-2, PF: 340)
Injuries have hurt this team pretty bad so far (Evans and Jayden Daniels), but CJ is hanging in there. He’s got a few pieces of perhaps the NFL’s best offense in Detroit…but are they the right pieces??
9. Tony (1-2, PF: 311)
Who had Daniel Jones as the overall QB #4 on their bingo card? This team also has pretty solid depth across the board, and if some under-performers can step it up (cough, Jamarr Chase, cough) then I wouldn’t be shocked at all to see Tony climb the standings here soon.
10. Neil (0-3, PF: 290)
Who else could it be?? The sole winless team so far, Neil has been plagued with injuries, bad roster management, and a lack of explosive weekly scores from his supposed big guns. There is talent on this roster, but it needs to get going soon or I’m gonna be shopping for crop-tops in the Slutler catalogue before too long. I’m thinking sequins?